Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize