Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The adults are the big ones right?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
