don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize