if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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