WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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