so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
