It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
