We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize