he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
