Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
