Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
