This girl is more easily done than said...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
