1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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