I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
