ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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