i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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