Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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