Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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