you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
