Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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