Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
