i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
True but thats because hes a fetus.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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