why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
