I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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