I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
