I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
