No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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