he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
