Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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