After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize