I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
high people should be assigned attendants
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
