I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
