I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
