So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
