Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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