how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
