sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
