Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
