I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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