You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize