If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
