Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
