these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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