I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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