sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Someone came in the potted fern
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
