...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
