morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
