white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
