My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm both gender and math confused
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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