I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you traded sex for a burrito?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
