No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
