She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
