hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
