when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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