Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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