My sheets look like a crime scene.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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