Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He did a backflip because drugs
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
