I hope mine doesn't look like that
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
