If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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