there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize