Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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