I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
