loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
