He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
