Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
