You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
do herpes really smell.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
