I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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