this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
