Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
