I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize